the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
