I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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