When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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