so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
