Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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