So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
