dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
