are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
