She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
