fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
