I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
