The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me