the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.