Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.