I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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