and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
