I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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