What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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