I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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