I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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