turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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