i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
