Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
