You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
