explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
