You can't motorboat a personality
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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