the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
