Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize