And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
