remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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