I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
