i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
