How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
