you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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