haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
