I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize