i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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