Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hippo gnu deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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