State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
