i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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