i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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