he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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