the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
