We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
