he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you didnt know i had herpes?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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