Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
