glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
