idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
