he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish you could order shots online.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
