just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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