the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
