Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
