Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
