sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
