This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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