dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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