And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
