just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
