I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dear god my vagina.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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