ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
