I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
