his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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