I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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