I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize