I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
