she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
