erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
