Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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