the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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