Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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